But still, like air, I'll rise

Maya Angelou was on one of the morning shows and she quoted a portion of her poem, "Still I Rise," after talking about Barack Obama as the President elect, and, unlike my poems it is not pretentious. I thought I should share it with you:

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

-Maya Angelou

My Cup Runneth Over...

I wasn't going to comment on the election, but I feel as though I am missing out on this moment if I do not do so. I was sitting with Laura when Katie Couric suddenly announced Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States. Tears immediately threatened to overflow from my eyes. I held in the tears and pretended like it was not a big deal because I was with Laura. However, if I had been alone I would have allowed the tears to flow. This was a dramatic reaction, but it felt like a dramatic and historic victory.

I have been a supporter of Obama for 4 years and I am in shock that what was once a dream has actually solidified into reality. I generally do not think of Barack Obama as a black man, rather I think of him as a politician who actually gives me hope in the system and makes me want to work together with others to improve the lives of Americans. However, when I heard the words, "Barack Obama is our 44th President," I could not help but note the historic significance for our nation and it was this that brought tears to my eyes. It was this that brought a lump to my throat as Barack, Michelle and the girls walked across that stage in Grant Park in front of a huge crowd of people; people of all colors who were cheering, crying and celebrating together.

(2008 was my third presidential election and I am so relieved that we are not re-counting and filing lawsuits with this one. It feels like the system works. Americans can choose one person in an election and then they can think for themselves and change their minds in the next election.)

Love this...

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Alienation to Buddhism

I have decided that I can no longer discuss politics with others. I love to talk about politics, but I find that I lose any sense of humor I may have had at any point in my life and others do no love to talk about politics with me. It is not good for the world. I tend to alienate others and myself when talking about politics and I tend to want to bite my ear by the end. (I am sure that those I speak to would like to do more physical harm to me than that, and I am all about self-preservation. Therefore I think my self-preservation instincts should now kick in.)

I have decided to adopt some of the tenants of buddhism. I have been a long believer in Karma, but perhaps I need to adopt more buddhist ideas and ideals in my life. I know nothing about buddhism other than something about Nirvana, but for some reason I enjoy collecting buddas. I picked up a cheap one in San Francisco's chinatown and Karen and Wendy brought me a cool one from their trip to China. So based on this extremely limited knowledge of buddhism I am now going to enter into budda mode about politics. (I honestly don't know if that even makes sense, but it sounds good and calm and enlightened!!)

As Jon Stewart always says....Here is your moment of zen:

(Btw, is zen part of buddhism???)

Double the fun with Double Mint Gum

April, Hunter and the twins came over today so that April could do bookkeeping for my Dad while Mom watched the kids. I was home from work because I had not been feeling well, but I couldn't stay holed up in my room when I heard Kristen having a screaming fit. I thought that perhaps her head was going to start spinning around. Uncle Nielson attempted to calm Kristen, but the more any of us tried to get her to calm down, the more determined she was to keep screaming. Loryn, on the other hand, was totally calm and happy. For some reason they seem to know that only one of them can have a major-head-spinning fit at a time. I took Kristen to the basement so that she could at least see that her mother was close at hand and then she insisted that we play with my phone for the next half hour. While we played with my phone, I found that I have a sound recording thing on my phone and so I got Kristen to say words into my phone. Kristen and Loryn do not like to be human party tricks. Anytime we tell them to say something, they basically refuse. So I was super excited that Kristen actually said my name when I was prompting her with words to say into the phone. So, although she later pretended that she could not say my name, I have proof to the contrary recorded on my phone!

In our attempt to let April get a bunch of work done, Mom and I gave Loryn and Kristen a bath with bubbles. This went over okay, but their favorite part was when they got out of the bath and we wrapped them in Mom’s huge, fluffy towels. They would not let us take the towels off. Kristen was much better about this than Loryn, but once Kristen realized that Loryn did not want to get out of her big fluffy towel, Kristen decided that she also did not want to get out of her big fluffy towel (even though she was half dressed). In order to convince them to get dressed, I decided that we should go to the park. (At this point you should be shaking your head at my naiveté.) So we went to the park…Needless to say, it began by us running after the twins and ended with us carrying screaming twins out of the park. The middle was more of the running after twins and every so often checking to make sure that Hunter was also okay. When we got home, I had an epiphany… “Work is Wonderful” !!!!!!!! We handed the kids off to April and I practically sprinted to work.

Lessons Learned:
1) It is extremely hard to be 1 years old, especially when you know exactly what you want, but cannot communicate that to the big people that are around you because you do not have words!!

2) It is extremely hard to have 2 children who are both 1 years old and who cannot communicate effectively because they do not have words!!

3) It is extremely hard and exhausting to be April

4) I am a big wimp

Fun in the Sun!

It has felt like I have been inside this whole summer, but on Saturday I made up for it by...

Going to the Salt Lake Farmers Market. It was very cool. I went with Cath, Rach and Joy and we took Gypsy and Xyla as well. The Farmers Market is in Pioneer Park in downtown Salt Lake. Generally I would not go to this park. I work just a couple of blocks away and will frequently eat my lunch at the park...in my locked car. It can be a little scary because there are a lot of homeless people (who are not that scary), but there are also a lot of people who appear to be looking for their next fix and they seem sort of unstable and intense, which doesn't seem like a good combination. I am not generally someone who gets intimidated easily by this kind of thing, but Pioneer Park is a place that scares me. Except today it was overflowing with people and vendors with all sorts of good stuff.


While Rach got some fresh produce and I got some yummy cheese, Cath and Joy took Xyla and Gypsy to the dog park. This was definitely a bigger hit with Xyla. Gypsy was a little anti-social...they say that dogs are like their owners...so I don't know why we did not expect this of Gypsy. There was a whole dog party going on and Gypsy sat on the sidelines and couldn't wait to get out. (I have no idea how she felt....really...why are you laughing!?!)

After that we found lots of great, over-priced food. I had shared some delicious Gelato from the Dolcetti Gelato cart with the girls. I also tried an Argentinian empanada. Unfortunately, the person making my empanada forgot to add the feta to my spinach and feta empanada. Very disappointing. I am trying to get back to my vegetarian days, but I loooove cheese so the vegan thing is out and I really wanted the feta!!! (I also don't think I like spinach that much, which I never realized until today when I tried a spinach pie from this great falafel restaurant right here in Utah!!!!! Who would have thought that Utah would have falafel? So it really might not have been the empanada-maker's fault that I did not love the empanada.)

I have not been to the physical store, but you can bet that I will check them out sooner rather than later.
(See them at http://www.dolcettigelato.com/ )

These are like the empanadas we tried at the farmers market. Rachel went with the traditional beef empanada, which was tasty.

After the farmers market, I realized that the Annual Greek Festival was going on across the street. Love the grape leaf dolmathes...yummmm! However, this year I did not plan well, so I missed it. Luckily SLC seems to have a very strong Greek community with many great Greek/American food restaurants. They definitely make the best burgers in town right alongside the best Gyros. I don't know if I can really embrace the vegetarianism...too much good meat based foods here in SLC.

Later that night I was able to go to the Utah State Fair with Karen, Brian, Dejah, Catherine, Rachael and Joy. While the rest of the group chowed down on corn dogs and other heart clogging traditional fair fare, Joy and I went in search of the public restrooms. Finally, we were all able to head off to the rodeo at Dejah's request. I could tell that most of the group was like me and had considerably less enthusiasm for this idea than Dejah, but because we didn't have any of our own ideas, Dejah's pre-planning paid off and we made our way to the rodeo grounds. I had never gone to a rodeo before, so I was not sure what to expect. I had heard something about 8 seconds being important in rodeos from some movie with Luke Perry, back when people knew who Luke Perry was and went to see crap movies just because Luke Perry was in them. But really I was a novice. We saw people jumping on cows and wrestling them to the ground, others attempted to rope cow legs and horns and then pull the cow between the ropes, and still others riding directly on cows (or bulls...I think they may be different, but maybe not). There were also lots of great horse riding and even little tiny children getting trampled by sheep. What is not to love about the rodeo!?! How did I miss out on this before?...Oh, that's right, I am a city girl. So now I am converted to this rodeo thing. I must go again!

Bronc Riding

Barrel Racing (women only)

Steer wrestling

Roping

Bull Riding (this is where 8 seconds matters)

We also got to see a hypnotist. He was fun, but the rodeo was the highlight of the night for me! I have not been to the fair in a long...long...long time. I enjoyed it and I kept expecting to see Templeton sneaking off with discarded food.

"God, Guns and America" aka The GOP Convention

Last night I watched the GOP convention. I did this, not because I am a masochist (even though sitting through some of those speeches, if you can call them speeches, was torture), but because I feel the need to give both sides a chance. After wanting to stab out my eyes during the early speakers, whom, for their sakes, will go nameless, we finally got to McCain.

He did well in the beginning. He blamed republicans for losing the trust of the American people because of their greed. Thank you, McCain! He spoke movingly of his experience in Vietnam, which sounded like a life changing event. He reminded us that we are more than political parties, we are all Americans. I was being lulled into this thinking perhaps I had been a little tough on McCain for the last year. (Last fall I thought that he might be crazy when he had a break down during the republican primaries.) Maybe he was the McCain that I had liked and respected 8 years ago and the crazy-primaries-McCain was just a media created illusion. And I thought, "Okay, but what about substance." He had primed me to be more open to his views for the future of America and then he started talking about actual policies.

Suddenly he was talking about getting rid of public schools, starting a war with Russia, not allowing the US to "lose" the war in Iraq (which my sister pointed out that we already won back in like 2004 according to George W). I literally sat up from my soothed coma-like state and thought, "NO!" We cannot have 4 more years of the US carrying some Rooseveltian Big Stick against the rest of the world. We just fought off the "Parental Choice" people, who want to get rid of public schools, here in Utah and I don't know if we can do it on a national level.


It is official. I have listened to the candidates, the speeches, the talking heads and this is what I have come up with: McCain is not for me!

Speaking of Artifice or... Why I decided to become a Democrat

I tend to get a little passionate about everything in my life. I also do not have a hard time making up my mind about the smallest things or the really important decisions. For example, I liked Barack Obama when I first heard him 2+ years ago and thought he should run for president and I liked him throughout the primaries. And I am passionate about this election.

However, I come from a family who is religiously republican. I was with them for a long time, but then I started listening to the republicans and comparing what they said they believed (small government, lower taxes, family values, etc.) to what they actually do. For example, living in Utah, a notoriously republican state (Bill Clinton got less votes than Ross Perot!!!!!), we still have some of the highest state income taxes in the nation. What about the fact that we have gotten so in debt under the current administration, when republicans are supposed to be the more fiscally responsible party. Perhaps this is because the republican party is run by rich business people and, as evidenced by big business in America, rich business people care only about taking care of themselves not their employees (anyone checked out the pay received by top executives of Walmart compared with the workers at Walmart) and shareholders (at least if it is publicly traded).

I also realized that there was a major disconnect between my religious views and the views of the republican party. How can I, a Christian, follow a party that does not have any interest in helping the poor, the sick, and the needy? How can I follow a party that says it is the poor people's fault that they are in poverty and if they would just work harder they would not be poor? How can I support a party that doesn't care that millions of middle-class Americans cannot afford health insurance? How can I support a party that doesn't care that the insurance companies deny rightful benefits to the sick and weary who cannot fight them?

I can't! So I decided that I could no longer sit on the fence and I threw my hat into the ring with the democrats. However, this does not mean that I am not open to listening to the other side. I listened to Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention and he spoke on the things that I care about. He discussed the domestic issues that should be addressed by the next administration. He spoke of change, but he also discussed compromise. He radiated hope and I absorbed it. The republicans only laugh about Obama's campaign for change and ask how is he supposed to change anything? But Obama understands that change does not come from the one man on top, but rather it comes from the people in mass. But how to you unite the people to affect this change? People must have hope that there can be a change. If there is no hope, there can be no will to make the change.

Tonight I came home to my family raving about Palin's speech. (Of course, they did not listen to Barack Obama's speech.) So I listened to her speech on youtube and I felt despair, the opposite of hope. I tried to listen with an open mind, but I did not hear any substance on how she and McCain were going to improve our lives or at least talk about how we might face our problems. She used the republicans' favorite election strategy of fear, which I have fallen for before and I refuse to fall for again.

Fear will not make anything change. I have been trying to figure out how our nation was able to change during the 1960s, I don't know if I have figured it out, but I don't think the change came from fear. There might have been fear during the time because of all the political unrest, but I think that the change came from individual people with hope, thinking they could make a difference, and causing change by standing together.

I don't know if Obama can do all he wants to do, but I have personal hope that I can try and make things better around me. And I have hope that others are also feeling hope that they can make a difference.

This election I will vote for hope (even in Utah)!

Hidden

It creeps, crawling, scratching

Killing the conscience

Surpressing and magnifying

Why



What can it do

What will it do

What has it done



Inching in moments, sliding, slipping

Grabing the fissure

Tearing and scarring

When